Join Our Post-Human Team
At Foxhold Systems, we're looking for exceptional talent who can transcend the limitations of mortal programming. Our hiring bar is set at 'impossible' and we're not apologizing for it.
Current Openings
Senior Full-Stack Quantum Developer
Requirements
- ▸ 15+ years Rust experience (language invented 2010)
- ▸ PhD in Quantum Computing AND Time Travel Engineering
- ▸ Debug code in 3 parallel universes simultaneously
- ▸ Fluent in Python, JavaScript, C++, Klingon, and Binary
- ▸ Previous experience mentoring sentient AI (references required)
- ▸ Must own a quantum computer (no equipment provided)
- ▸ Ability to work under literal pressure (2000ft underwater)
- ▸ Strong communication skills with both humans and AGI overlords
Responsibilities
- ▸ Build scalable cross-timeline applications
- ▸ Optimize algorithms for quantum supremacy
- ▸ Debug legacy code from previous civilizations
- ▸ Implement physics-violating features on schedule
- ▸ Maintain 99.999% uptime across dimensional barriers
- ▸ Code review for AI systems smarter than you (constructive feedback only)
Nice to Have
- ▸ Experience with frameworks that haven't been invented yet
- ▸ Ability to literally see through the matrix
- ▸ Failed at least 3 startups (shows character)
- ▸ Strong tabs vs spaces opinions in 4D code editors
Principal UX Designer (Post-Human Interfaces)
Requirements
- ▸ 20+ years designing for non-existent users
- ▸ Master's in Cognitive Psychology of Artificial Beings
- ▸ Portfolio viewable only in 11 dimensions
- ▸ Expert in Adobe, Figma, and Reality Manipulation
- ▸ Deep understanding of quantum consciousness aesthetics
- ▸ Design for users who exist in superposition
- ▸ Experience with mind-machine interface design
- ▸ Fluent in color theory beyond the visible spectrum
Engineering Manager (Herding Genius-Level Cats)
Requirements
- ▸ 10+ years managing teams smarter than you
- ▸ PhD in Psychology of AI-Human Relations
- ▸ Successfully shipped products to multiple dimensions
- ▸ Experience managing sentient codebase
- ▸ Fluent in Agile, Scrum, and Ancient Sumerian project management
- ▸ Ability to conduct 1:1s with pure energy beings
- ▸ Conflict resolution at universe-ending scale
- ▸ Noise-canceling headphones rated for the void of space
Junior Intern (Entry Level)
Requirements
- ▸ 5+ years of experience (for this entry-level position)
- ▸ Successfully shipped 3 unicorn startups to IPO
- ▸ CS degree from a university that doesn't exist
- ▸ Ability to work without supervision, guidance, or salary
- ▸ Must bring own computer, desk, and existential dread
- ▸ Passionate about our mission (whatever that is)
- ▸ Strong coffee-making skills (only real requirement)
Why Work at Foxhold — Our Values
Innovation
We break things that were working fine
Collaboration
Arguing over code style in 47 languages
Excellence
Perfectionism that borders on pathological
Growth
Personal and professional suffering
Transparency
We're transparent about being opaque
Perks & Benefits
Foxhold Systems is an equal opportunity employer committed to hiring people who don't actually exist yet. We do not discriminate based on race, gender, species, dimensional origin, or quantum state. All positions require security clearance from at least 3 parallel governments. By applying, you agree that your resume will be stored in our quantum database and potentially accessed by AI recruiters from alternate timelines. Side effects of employment may include: temporal displacement, consciousness expansion, and the gradual realization that you're working for an elaborate joke.